SWEATERS!

Talk about something you found on the internet ...on the internet.
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DoomCraft
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SWEATERS!

Postby DoomCraft » 2004.06.04 3:38 am

If you've ever wondered what Hell is like, I think that it's probably something like this. Leslie Hall, who I can only describe as looking like "somebody's unfortunate aunt," makes and models various gaudy looking sweaters that I'm willing to bet are probably itchy. The real kick is her modeling, which has about as much emotion as a warehouse full of microchips for murderous cyborgs. She sits in perfect stillness in each picture, modeling dozens of sweaters but never in a different pose, and always wearing the same shiny gold tights. I suppose that's all part of the marketing gimmick, to be some sort of ironic modern art piece, but the results are terrifying no matter how lofty the goal. It's awful, regardless of how arty the intentions were.

CLICK HERE TO ENTER THE SWEATER HELL.

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Jeff
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Postby Jeff » 2004.06.04 7:26 am

The answer's quite simple: She's dead. Someone's just cutting the backs of the sweaters and placing them on her body. It would explain the blank stare and rigor mortis.

Whoops, I was wrong.

If it is some modern art gimmick, I don't get it at all. I wonder if the subject knows what's going on.
I do what I can.

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DoomCraft
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Postby DoomCraft » 2004.06.04 3:27 pm

Something is seriously wrong with all of this...
There is a Rap song inspired by satan and this whale's morbid lust for sweaters.

Not only that, but if you log into amazon.com you get to download the album for free. Now is that love or what?

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Postby DoomCraft » 2004.06.04 3:30 pm

Update on the sweater girl song. I have now found the lyrics for the song... which were also on the amazon page but I want to take credit for it. I mean, after all it is the sweater girl.

Sweater girl - she's one of a kind
Sweater girl - she's right on time
Sweater girl - love at first glance
Sweater girl - in gold stretch pants
Sweater girl - fulfills her needs
Sweater girl - with gems and beads
Sweater girl - a thrift-store queen
Sweater girl - with sequined dreams
Sweater girl - in with the Ames crowd
Sweater girl - makin' Iowa proud!
Sweater girl - she's got the drive
Sweater girl - to keep the 80's alive
Sweater girl - always changing clothes
Sweater girl - she keeps the same pose
Sweater girl - don't you ever stop
Rock and jock that sweater top - hooah!

Sweater girl - she's so sublime
Sweater girl - shines all the time
Sweater girl - she just don't care
Sweater girl - got hair to spare
Sweater girl - she's on display
Sweater girl - in the USA
Sweater girl - I know what you are
Sweater girl - you're a sequined star!
Sweater girl - with the golden gams
Gems be riddles with magic jams
Sweater girl - don't you ever stop
Rock and jock that sweater top - hooah!

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Postby DoomCraft » 2004.06.04 3:41 pm

Oh damn another update... The guy who wrote this song known as, "Beef humper" has another song that he released about 4 days prior to the classic Sweater Girl song.

It's called, Bongs For Dogs and I urge everyone to give a listen. I was so into the music that I accidentally danced my way back to the civil war. I met general lee and grant, we had a blast. We played clue and twister and I lost 20$ of my welfare check in a game of strip poker. As soon as the song was done, I didn't know what hit me... I ran to the nearest wal-mart and picked up this insta-classic on CD- but sometimes only on cassette depending on if you can dig deep enough in the 1$ bin.


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