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The cost of my mistakes.

Posted: 2004.03.04 3:52 am
by Jeff
$1641.96.

That's what I've cost myself in speeding tickets and other fines last year. Ouch. This, of course, doesn't include the exponential inflation of my car insurance that went along with getting the speeding tickets and the subsequential license suspension. (side note: Neither Word nor Dictionary.com don’t recognize “subsequential” as a word. It’s a word, damnit.)

Anyway, what’s got me thinking about this is the fact that I get my driver’s license back on Friday. I should be happy about this, but it’s depressing. What am I going to do with it? Drive my shitty Taurus to nowhere in particular, since I have nowhere I really need to go, until it dies on me again? I’d go to Puckaway or something, but it’s too wet and cold out to really accomplish anything out there. Maybe I could just work on it in the driveway, something I could’ve done all winter when I had no license. What’s really depressing is the fact that I lost my license in the first place. I really know how to fuck up a good thing. I had pretty cheap insurance, I was lined up to get a nice, new car… And then I rack up almost two grand in fees and lose my license. What a winner. Now I have to stick with that damn Taurus at $900/year insurance since that’s the absolute cheapest way I can legally drive. Hell yeah it could be worse, but it still sucks.

Which brings me to my next point. I am terrible with money. Terrible. I buy way way way too much shit that I shouldn’t. I swear to God it’s an addiction. Think Jack in Fight Club before his apartment explodes. I’m sitting here right now thinking of all the fancy new shit I want to buy. I have no money to buy it with. I shouldn’t even be thinking about stuff like this right now, since I have it pretty damn good to begin with. Disease, I tell you. Disease.

I want my damn tire job back. I didn’t have to think much, I lost weight, I got a tan, I had fun. I got money by going to work. I liked it better than college in that respect. I don’t like that I’m spending over $10,000 a year to be here, no matter how well I do. I mean, damn, there was some pressure to do well in high school, but if I got mediocre grades (and I did), there weren’t that many consequences. Now I have to keep a 2.5 GPA to even take classes for my major, and better keep a 3.0 if I want cheaper insurance. So every time I go to class, I realize that I paid an assload of money to be there, so I better make it worth it, and that while I sat there, I was getting more and more in debt.

Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky fuck. I have college paid for like 3 years. Very damn nice. But I’m still racking up debt left and right somehow, and my mom won’t let me forget about that every time we talk. My cell bill I manage to pay for, but car insurance debt keeps growing like cancer. I doubt I’ll make any money this summer at Goodyear; it’s all going to go toward getting my car back in the black. And that’s if my transmission still does it’s job after a whole summer of at least 300 miles a week. I need a job next year, at Goodyear if at all possible. I hate this fucking feeling of having more and more debt just by living. I will never buy a fucking credit card. I don’t need to be the classic American broke motherfucker. I want to keep Puckaway.

Done with the pissing and moaning? Think so.

I was wondering what was wrong with me after about a month in here at UWO because I had hardly met anyone new besides my girlfriend. I was still wondering that last week, when I had this explosion of friends. That was a much needed pick-me-up. Through a guy across the hall that I’ve talked to a few times about computer stuff, I’ve met about 10 other guys who are actually nice. It’s cool finally having enough people to play multiplayer Mario Kart, (I need to buy another GameCube controller now. Disease….) and one of the guys from upstairs is a UT and Star Trek freak like yours truly. It’s nice having a girlfriend who’s actually excited by my making new friends instead of feeling threatened.

I love college. Fuck worrying about financial obligations and stuff, I’m having fun.

I love my fragile mind.